If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Found the puke drawer
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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