I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
