If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
