he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
