Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I will pee on everything he values.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
