is wine microwaveable?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
