No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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