You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
