It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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