This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
