Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
