I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
