I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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