my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
