then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
