Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
