The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
