I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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