Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
