i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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