im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
wow bdsm is so cute
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
