Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
