I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
