I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
