He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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