You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
