Where is the hickey?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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