What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
