it wasn't lemon gatorade
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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