bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
