Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
