Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
