You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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