So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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