I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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