Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
