Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and she was petting her beer can
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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