Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
