Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
