I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize