omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No more Irish car bombs ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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