if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
People in love make me want to vomit
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
