My room smells like vodka and shame
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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