its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize