Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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