I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
