I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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