Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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