i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
