I am puke
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
