he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
