i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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