I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
