Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
