i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
