Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
