just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
