Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
