It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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