I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
