Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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