help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
where are my eyebrows?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
